


These Kinds Of Things Don't Happen To Me

by 2shy2call911



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Implied Johnkat, M/M, Roxy is mentioned, Self Harm, i wrote this at 2am it's so bad, idk if anything it'd be pale but this story is kinda rushed so, johnkat is only hinted but its my otp ok go away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 15:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4672469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2shy2call911/pseuds/2shy2call911
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But these things just didn't happen, not to John. They happened to everyone else, but not himself.</p><p>Everyone else seems to have so much experience with this subject. All John does is run away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Kinds Of Things Don't Happen To Me

**Author's Note:**

> hi so it's 2am on a school night and im tired as fuck  
> this hasnt been edited or anything so sorry it's kinda sucky, it was more of a test to get better with characterization anyway. there's _so much_ i could add to make it better but 2am guys  
>  2am  
> im gonna regret posting this as it is in the morning but i hope u enjoy

Three different days... John had thought it'd be like any other day. Go to school, deal with Karkat's ranting (he'd pass notes to John about how stupid class was, always insisting on writing in all caps, it did emphasize his point, at least), go home, hang out with Karkat, eat, homework, then sleep. It was his daily routine. Some people got bored of routines, but not John. He seemed to find some sort of comfort in knowing how his day would go. But doing the same pattern, every single day, could catch you off guard. You wouldn't expect anything different. You wouldn't expect any surprises. He would have been shocked either way, once he found out, but still. These kinds of things didn't happen to him; They happened to everyone else, just not him.

It was a normal day in class, math class, to be specific, the only class John struggled in. He was trying to pay attention, really, but Karkat was sitting behind him, furiously scribbling down on a piece of paper, and he could hear the pencil's scratching clearly in his ears, as if right next to them. Concentrating too hard on the pencil, instead of his math. Distractions. And when he finally figured out what he was doing wrong on only the first problem, Karkat had slapped a piece of paper (covered in loud pencil marks) on his table.

He glanced back, not even caring about getting caught. They never did, anyway. John sighed, quickly grabbing the paper and skimming through it, already knowing the basic's of his friend's notes. Pure anger. Just mindless rambling about how hard that shit was, or how annoying the teacher's blabbering was. Nothing new. The entire front page of the paper was covered in angry scribbles, as always. John flipped it over to the back to write a quick response so he could get back to work, but the back was covered, too. Not in ranting, yet it definitely looked just as sloppily and madly scrawled down.

John tilted his head ever so slightly as he read, math long gone from his brain. What was Karkat doing writing about methods to remove blood stains? More importantly, why in school? Most importantly, in math? You had to focus on math, not guess. God.

He slid the paper back over to Karkat, not even bothering to reply. Before John even had time to look away, Karkat's eyes had widened, and he immediately snatched up the paper, shoving it into his pocket. Okay...?

"You didn't see that, right?" He had whispered to John, but Karkat's whispering is basically a normal talking voice, and the teacher turned, shushing them both. John turned back around in his seat, contemplating how to reply. He was concerned, but maybe he was just overthinking it?

He shook his head. Math was hard enough as it was, he didn't need anything distracting him. Except this math. John went back to working on the math sheet, still on problem one. He ignored his friend's poking in his back; Karkat would eventually give up.

That was only the first day John noticed something was up. He went a week or two with nothing happening, until an exceptionally hot day. They weren't in gym, thank God. The two were sitting outside after school, waiting to be picked up (they were too lame for driver's licenses). There was no breeze, none at all, and the sun was blazing down from the sky. It was humid.

"It's hot as hell out here," Karkat had said. John took a moment to reply, having to stifle a laugh from imagining Karkat not saying it, but saying it out on paper, kinda like how he usually did in class. He didn't understand why it was so funny. But imagine a giant, stick person Karkat yelling at you in a high pitched voice, stomping his feet and flailing his arms. He'd never stop pestering you (Yes, John did have too much time on his hands).

"Maybe you should stop wearing hoodies all the time, in the summer," John said sarcastically, as he leaned over just slightly, reaching out to pull on the strings of Karkat's hoodie. Immediately, he had swatted John's hands away, proceeding to bundle up inside, responding with a hiss. "I know you're King of the Cold or some shit, but you're the one who's always complaining about how fucking hot it is."

"You just complained about it too, so..."

"Once," Karkat muttered from inside the hoodie. It was draped over his entire body, including his head.

John reached over, beginning to tug the hoodie off; Karkat flailed, slap-fighting John. He managed to smack him in the hand, and in the face, whacking his glasses off. "Ow, dude." John turned to pick up his glasses, placing them back on his face, and he turned back around. Karkat was nervously pulling his hoodie, especially near the sleeves. Hmm...

John knew his boundaries. Karkat wouldn't be comfortable if he suddenly tried to half-undress him. So, despite his curiosity (and concern), John remained in his spot, making no more moves to remove Karkat's hoodie. He'd have to deal with it.

The third and final day, the day of the big surprise, was when John went over to Karkat's, uninvited. He was always uninvited, really. It was routine to go to each other's houses. And there was that one time they both went to each other's houses at the same time, to discover no one was there, but that's not the point. Karkat had seemed upset in school that day, and John decided he'd go over to talk to him.

He'd walked up the stairs and opened the door to Karkat's room, not knocking being an old habit. Maybe it was a good thing, maybe it was a bad thing, but he'd never forget what he saw: Karkat was half-naked. That wasn't the problem, he'd seen him half-naked before; He'd seen him fully naked before. The problem was that his arms were uncovered, and it'd been years since John had seen that. His arms being uncovered, however, revealed that they were not uncovered, angry lines (similar to Karkat's handwriting, you could say), cuts and scars, littered them.

Karkat had jumped in the air, flinging his arms around, and literally screaming. John didn't even notice. All he could think about was what he saw. ...Were those real? Where did they come from? And John wasn't stupid or anything. He'd discussed self harm with his friend, Rose, before (even if it was over the internet). But he didn't want to believe his friend, his best friend, would do something like that. And how he didn't notice what was going on sooner.

"John!" Karkat had composed himself, arms hidden behind his back, but John had already seen. "You moron, try knocking!"

John didn't say anything, he was thinking. Thinking of other possibilities for all of those cuts, and fading cuts, and fresh ones, and what he knew he saw, and it was so, so horrible. He didn't want to see it again, yet at the same time, he needed to. He needed to confirm what he saw was real. Make sure that Rose didn't corrupt his head or something.

John stepped forward slowly, and he watched Karkat, who was swaying back and forth lightly, arms still behind his back. He was nervous, he could tell that much. That only made John more anxious, and he quickly went over, reaching behind Karkat, who moved away. "No."

John stayed still. "Why?"

"...I'm cold, tch. What do you think?"

Karkat continued swaying back and forth, blinking quickly. Lie. Complete lie. He had gotten caught, fuck. John eyed him plainly.

"You're naked."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Karkat was extra bitter with his response, not that he wasn't always. He knew what was coming. Either never-ending yelling, or half-assed "comfort".

John did neither of those. He stood still for a moment, staring at Karkat, his heart pounding. His suspicions had been practically confirmed, now what? Was he supposed to confront him? Comfort him? Grab his arms? He didn't know. And with fear, John ran.

Karkat stared at the place John was at, for a long time, before finally blinking, letting a single tear fall.

John wasn't prepared. This didn't happen to him. It happened to everyone else, but not him. He remembered his discussions with Rose. Her older sister had been burning herself, as well as becoming a slight alcoholic. But Rose didn't yell at her. She didn't confront her, either. She dropped subtle hints, that she knew, that she cared, until her sister felt like she could tell her.

Rose said it was different with every person. Some people did better with comfort, others did better with a slap in the face. John wasn't so sure. He didn't want to make the wrong move. He knew he was overthinking it, but Karkat was his friend, his best friend, and his best friend was harming himself. How was he supposed to react to that?

He wouldn't lie. He was kind of hurt. Wasn't he good enough of a friend to tell? Was he not trustworthy? And John knew Rose told him not to think like that, but he couldn't help it. He was so overwhelmed. And angry. Angry at Karkat for being so stupid. Why would he do that? What would it accomplish?

When John returned home, he was seething. And he knew he had no right, but he couldn't think straight. He was in a shock. This didn't happen to people like him. It didn't. John did his homework, ate dinner, and went to bed early, having no Karkat to talk to. He didn't want to tell Rose, not yet. He wanted to pretend it never happened, honestly.

Karkat was hurting, that was horrible. And obviously, John was untrustworthy, since Karkat never told him. Plus, he should have noticed Karkat was acting strange. Rose hadn't lectured him for nothing, right? But nope, he didn't. He just let it happen. It was his fault. Logically, John knew he wasn't the one pressing a blade to Karkat's skin (nor would he ever want to be), but he was upset. He wasn't thinking straight. He was tired. So he went to sleep, hoping in the morning, he'd be able to think clearer. Maybe it was all just a nightmare.

John woke up early. He took an extra long shower, and took extra long to walk to school (why he didn't just get a ride, he'd never know). He wasn't ready to face Karkat. Sure, he wanted to apologize for running out on him, and hopefully get him to open up, but he didn't want to mess it up. Karkat was a fragile person, and he was easily angered, real anger or just a mask, still. How should he bring it up? "Hey Karkat, you've been hurting yourself and I should've noticed it earlier but I'm a shitty person and I didn't, sorry. Want a hug?" John cringed internally. Karkat would probably blame himself it he went about it like that. Bad idea.

John had made it to first period, and to his horror, Karkat wasn't in class that day. He wasn't in school that day. And he wasn't the next day, or the next day, or the next day. Or the next day.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u didnt die from reading this monstrosity <3 interpret the ending how you want


End file.
